Something Beautiful

by Color Theory

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1.
Second Best 04:06
The phone shocks you out of sleep like a fire alarm He reaches to answer it but you restrain his arm She cries so hard it distorts the speaker On the answering machine And there you lie in between You ask him if he loves you and he tells you yes But he’s never going to settle for second best It’s natural to want the thing you can’t possess Which is why to him you’ll always be second best Against your own advice you fell in love with him After she let him go on just another whim But now she sees that somebody treasures him Suspicion fills her mind What did she leave behind? He needs to have something just beyond his reach Drama and action and uncertainty The relentless pursuit of insecurity All those things he provides for you Though you’ll never admit you crave them too At their computer screens They talk without a sound His wallet still hides the proof of paradise unfound He never finished the song he wrote for her The ending wasn’t clear When would she reappear?
2.
Penny for my thoughts Make a wish and toss it down Into the well But the well’s run dry Every thought evaporates on my tongue Promised I’d try To show you what I feel inside I keep to myself Because there’s nothing left Nothing really there to hide Or confide This is something I have to do Maybe not thought-provoking But it’s just what I promised you And you thought I was joking This is my life Like someone else’s diary Edited out Factual and dry Sterilized for public view Nothing new Still I hold hope inside That someday my words will run free To play out my part In something bigger than me.
3.
I’m haunted by a false reality A victim of my own conspiracy My mind fills the vacuum when the details are left out My senses give you the benefit of any doubt I sometimes hear your voice ring from afar And smell your sweet perfume trapped in my car When I’m waking up I feel your arm across my chest But since we went our own separate ways My bed has kept no guest You are the stranger on the street But we’re familiar as best friends One glimpse of you on the crowded sidewalk And my heart is obsolete At a distance I see your face In the stranger on the street Don’t keep me at a distance I wonder how you are all through my day Chronic nostalgia pulls me away I want to be whole again I know it’s up to me But I’m reluctant to cross the bridge From love to apathy.
4.
Realist 04:07
It may not always be like this I hate to be such a realist If someday your lips should touch another’s And I should come between two star-crossed lovers If someday your strong but tender fingers Should close around the heart of some rose-bringer As they grow tight around mine still Then grant me this one thing This one small thing It may not always be like this I hate to be such a realist But if someday you should lay your silky hair On his smiling face in that silence that we share If you should hear the same bewildered words That spill out in an incoherent blur From the exposed and helpless soul Then grant me this one thing This one small thing Let me know Just let me know You who own my heart If we must be apart Let me know Just let me know Send a little word When you know for sure Let me know So I can go to him and take his hands And cut the anchor free Look into his eyes and say “Accept all happiness from me” Then at last I’ll turn my face To see the dying day And hear a single bird’s faint song From somewhere far away So far away.
5.
Sitting on a porch swing Looking out across New Haven Bay An eastern seaboard sunset Decorates a warm September day We must look so old-fashioned I never thought that I’d end up this way Happy to surrender Marry you again and again Linger in the flow In this afterglow Dusty shoebox photos Document my history with you When the shutter opens up The lens takes in the world around you too My heart is like a camera In love with all the world through loving you The feeling overwhelms me Waiting for our favorite song On the radio In this afterglow Now the night has fallen The fireflies in dazzling disarray I begin to lose myself In the glow of nature’s fireworks display All at once it hits me Marriage is the afterglow of two committed lives A growing promise that surrounds us in its light Sometimes this ever after Is bigger than my heart can contain Let it overflow In this afterglow.
6.
You live your life anonymously Stuck in this world of beauty queens and nobodys You’re not a star or a millionaire Tinseltown snubs its nose but you don’t really care Your unassuming figure hides Something beautiful Behind the t-shirt and Levi’s Something beautiful And I want you to know That I’m honored to be a part of Learn the art of Journey to the heart of you When did we all start judging so fast? Stuck in this world where first impressions always last Book jacket praise just doesn’t suffice Why should a classic novel have to be concise? And I know that you’re somebody special And I know that you’re more than you seem Cause I see so many things in you That are missing in me I open up, confess all my sins Stuck in this world where people hear but don’t listen You disapprove but you understand You never act as if you're better than I am.
7.
The sun fell down an hour ago But I still hike these foot worn hills The letters above spell Hollywood Welcome to my great escape The sun fell down an hour ago But I still walk these foot torn hills The letters above spell Hollywood And though the irony’s lost on me The stars don’t shine much here Through the blanket of smog Still there’s more than I can count And it makes me feel so small To be so far away from them Because no matter what I do I can never touch these stars I scan the sky for Alpha Centauri The closest star to ours Whose light travels five years to get here For all I know it may have died out by now But I see it with my own eyes A memory of what it used to be And so I remember you As you were when you were most alive You shine on me from heaven As real as these stars above That I can never touch again I can never touch again Never touch these stars Again.
8.
Numb 04:51
Seems like all they want to talk about is love It makes you feel so insecure Have you ever truly been in love before? If you want to know for sure Catch a wild bee and Hold it in your tightly closed fist Wait until your hand goes numb If it doesn’t sting you Then you know that you’re in love But you will end up getting stung Either way You’ve been feeling happy but not overjoyed Satisfied but not content Maybe lost your head but it’s not in the clouds Guilty yet so innocent Either way people change You’ll wake up cold and cry his name in vain He can’t deny his legacy The endless search for novelty Why did you decide to take such tender care Of the flowers that he gave? After all he hasn’t called you for a week Doesn’t that make you feel strange? Either way the flowers die.
9.
On an ordinary Wednesday night With you and her and me We met at the club to take in the scenery When she asked you where you were last time You said that you worked late But you had told me that you had a special date I looked into your eyes In search of any sign Of recognition or anxiety But there was not a trace Your perfect poker face Persuaded me to doubt my memory Always calculating who knows what Always thinking back It’s natural when you spend your life Covering up your tracks On a legendary Wednesday night With only her and me There was some other place that you had to be Though I tried to steer the topic clear She wouldn’t let it go The first of your lies fell down like a domino Comparing mental notes Recalling anecdotes Mythologies you made on our behalf We wallowed in disgust You couldn’t earn our trust If you were hooked up to a polygraph You live in a parallel dimension Where the laws of honesty do not apply A twilight zone where the past is always changing To corroborate the latest of your lies So go on and weave your fragile web You won’t entangle me Now that I’ve seen your subtle duplicity Still I find it hard to hold a grudge Because you seem to be Lost in your own subjective reality Not wanting to deceive You struggle to believe The lies you tell for your own benefit Entirely immersed In your own universe And really who am I to question it?
10.
Eiffel Tower 04:36
So good to hear your voice Yeah I know it’s been a long time Sometimes I miss those years The melodrama that we went through I dropped the telephone When I heard you’re getting married Take a step back with me And see your life from a bird’s-eye view Forgive me if you’re feeling pressured or harassed If there’s a chance I have to ask Will you meet me at the top of the Eiffel Tower This coming Friday at eight? I’ll make the arrangements Don’t think of it as a date When you see the view from the Eiffel Tower The Paris skyline at dark Then you’ll understand that we’ve travelled too many miles To stay apart How many people said That we were meant to be together? I don’t believe in fate Still a part of me won’t let go Tell me I’m not too late It may seem a desperate measure But if you’ll humor me By next Monday we’ll truly know I’m terrified of living life under the threat Of lasting doubt, of slow regret Don’t think that I Am only clinging to the past My life’s too short The world’s too vast Maybe you’ll decide that you never want to depart.
11.
Perfection 02:44
I held you in a dream Your back against my chest In your beauty I put my faith Though I never even saw your face You whispered warm Syllables soft as your skin Firsthand I learned In heaven the poetry doesn’t have words But you fell out of the sky A pillow in my arms Your tender voice lost without trace Smothered by the static and the bass I closed my eyes Started to fall back asleep But I couldn’t risk Tainting our tryst with an unforeseen twist It’s alright now It’s alright now If I can feel that way If my mind can comprehend perfection Then just maybe it exists It’s alright now It’s alright now.

about

My very first concert was Madonna, with the legendary Jonathan Moffett (aka “Sugarfoot”) on drums. A decade and a half later, Jonathan played drums for my album! Something Beautiful is completely acoustic, with instrumentation falling somewhere between a rock band and a Broadway musical.

credits

released October 29, 2002

Color Theory is Brian Hazard

All songs written by Brian Hazard (ASCAP) © 2002 except:

Something Beautiful
Written by Brian Hazard (ASCAP) and Keith Gillard (SOCAN) © 2002

Realist
Lyrics based on a poem by e.e. cummings

Vocals, piano, vibraphone: Brian Hazard
Drums, percussion: Jonathan Moffett
Fretless bass: Baba Elephante
Flute, harp: Brian Noel
Strings: Paul Pai-Shih Lee, Esther Minwary, Colin Pearson

Drums and percussion recorded at Sonikwire Studios, Irvine:
First engineer: Shantih Haast
Second engineers: Trinidad Sanchez III, Justin Schier

All other tracks recorded and mixed by Brian Hazard at Resonance Mastering, Huntington Beach

Art, design and photography by davpunk www.davpunk.com
Models: Caroline Foster, Heidi Meisinger
Mastered by Resonance Mastering www.resonancemastering.com

Humblest thanks to all the musicians, my wife Michelle, Keith Gillard, Sheri Hogan, Dave Pasciuto, Todd Durrant, Thomas Hanewinkel, Mark Nicholas, Bill Boocock, David Richards, and especially to you, the listener, for fulfilling my life's ambition.

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Color Theory Huntington Beach, California

Somehow I never outgrew the 80s.

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