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June 0
00:40
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In the beginning
I wondered what to do
Didn't really know how much
I had longed for you
I tried to make you laugh
I think you wanted me to
I tried to make you see
That I wanted you
Maybe I was soft inside my shell
Didn't know you'd send me straight to hell
I still believed and hoped and prayed
For you to take my shaking hands
And do the best you can to break the spell
Why don't you open your eyes
And see my shining armour
There really is no surprise
I'm just a little scared
First time you opened your eyes
And saw their shining beauty
It took my heart by surprise
That we already loved
I know the feeling
I've been this way before
I'm gonna go and hurt myself
And I'll come back for more
Just like a Polaroid
Some things take a while
I may be hard to get
But I won't fade in time
Maybe this was all inside my head
Maybe we won't know, it's all unsaid
Please stay, don't run, don't walk away
I see your cold and shaking hands
I’ll do the best I can to change your plans
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3. |
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Welcome but unexpected
A sudden face to face
I’m feeling out of place
Listening to your confession
A silent howl of joy
From this eager boy
Welcome but unexpected
But something isn’t right
You’re overly polite
Quietly disconnected
Until you make your move
With so much to prove
I can't take an hour of this
But I’m powerless beneath you
You cry without a sound
Under the threat of a kiss
I fall down the abyss to reach you
This aching is unbound
Welcome but unexpected
It’s glorious but it hurts
It’s awkward but it works
Feels nice to be accepted
I’m glad you cleared the air
We’re quite the pair
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4. |
Amelia's Fault - Colder
03:05
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My gift to you is my goodbye
Its ugly truth
Its pretty lie
My gift to you is when I leave
You'll hold onto your dignity
It isn't a decision
Love I have to go
It isn't supposition, is it?
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
Rather than hotter, you'll grow colder
Rather than wiser, only older
Let me remember you as bolder
Just as you are instead of colder
Your gift to me is but a kiss
To say I'm free and I'll be missed
Your gift to me is staying young
This melody my body's sung
Before you lose the danger in your smile
Before your raven hair is gray
Before I cease to think you're worth my while
I want, I need to walk away
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5. |
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On a cold beach
The clouds drown the sunlight
We share a final meal on paper plates
No one around
No lifeguard to save us
We rose up with the tide
But fall awaits
Lamenting past days
On the last day of summer
Cementing pathways
On the last day of summer
There we go
Singing anthems of sunny days
Keeping memories alive
Breathing in waves
The winds picked up and blew
All our hopes and dreams
Our dreams and hopes
Our hopes and dreams
Away it seems
So many miles
We ran in the darkness
The effort on your face concealed from me
Stepping in time
As heartbeat by heartbeat
The blood that lines our veins
Returns to the sea
Lamenting past days
On the last day of summer
Cementing pathways
On the last day of summer
Now we know
Singing anthems of sunny days
Keeping memories alive
Though the sand still lingers between our toes
The hourglass empties
And the moment dies
Refer to me in present tense
If we must die tonight
Don’t keep me in suspense
Line the future with electric fence
Confess by neon light
Half-hearted penitence
Hollow pretense
Lamenting past days
On the last day of summer
Cementing pathways
On the last day of summer
Time to go
Singing anthems of sunny days
Keeping memories alive
Though the sand still lingers between our toes
The hourglass empties
And the moment dies
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6. |
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Fast forward what I say
Doesn’t matter anyway
Can't believe in anything
When winter follows spring
Harsh words often sway
Too many like to play
They’ll say anything
When their hat’s in the ring
Though black and blue
Hope can win through
I'm often sideswiped by lovers of doom
False tongue, a falser face
Never won that kind of race
Speak my truth no matter what
Even when I’d rather not
Take a breath, I stop and pray
In these tepid days
Looking back on battles fought
Overrun with second thoughts
I got it right
No that’s a lie
I wish I may
I wish I might
Find a way out of this fight
Eyes strain in unlit rooms
Voices call out in the gloom
And here I am pulling strings
Afraid of what tomorrow brings
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7. |
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Shovel it down
You spoon feed me love
With a forked tongue
Words cut deeply
We’ve too many knives
Our blades drawn
Scrapes and bandages
Never fully healed
With this arsenal
With this arsenal
Smile seduction
Lean in for a kiss
And slit my throat
Guts and glory
We’ve too many lives
Immortal
Grown the thickest skin
Yet I feel alive
We’ve too many knives
We’ve too many knives
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8. |
Wise
04:03
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Reached my full height
It’s a wonder that I
Haven’t grown at all
Got no advice
Timeless words to the wise
To elevate my fall
And still this pride
Holding grudges like stocks
For the monster haul
Spoken my lines
Now I’m pacing offstage
For the curtain call
To this moment I am promised
I am wise
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9. |
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Fine time for you to drop by
I’m not prepared for company
Give me a moment to collect myself
I’m naked and you shouldn’t see me
Skeletons I gotta put in the closet
Cause I don’t wanna set them free
So many things I want to hide from prying eyes
That wouldn’t wanna let them be
I’m being chased by a pack of wild wolves
I’m runnin’ like hell through the woods
I pray that I’m not misunderstood
By people who could never see the good
It’s too cold to be running around naked
I gotta put my clothes on
And I know sometimes I just can’t fake it
Feels better with my clothes on
They protect me from the chills of defeat
They won’t let me feel the rain, I’m too weak just...
Give me my clothes and walk away
Don’t look at me
Don’t look at me
Fine time for you to ask why
I run away from everything
Give me a moment to collect my words
I gotta find the perfect way to speak
Skeletons keep falling out of the closet
And I don’t know how they broke free
So many times I used to hide with crying eyes
Cause nobody would let me be
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10. |
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I hear the sound of footsteps on the leaves
As waking hours are closing in on me
Oh, thought I was out here all alone
But lately I can't help but feel
I've seen you in a dream
Was I awake when you were here with me?
I close my eyes to recreate the scene
Are you alive, or something in-between?
Do you find me?
The places that I go to
Inside a dream
Inside a dream
And oh, when I wander on my own
Through the trees, do you follow me?
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My wings vanish and I fall from the sky
Convinced that I'll die
Body frozen as I brace for the ground
And scream without sound
With a jolt I wake up covered in sweat
And start to forget
Big boy don't be scared
'Twas only a nightmare
Narrowly escaping
The siren's blare
The timekeeper wakes me
With seconds to spare
My Jerusalem in mortar and stone
Spy Jesus' bones
Dusty ruins rough like sand in my ear
The fables and fears
My kingdoms are songs
But decades are gone
Half old and half wrong
I'm only a son
And not yet a father
Seconds, minutes, lifetimes
In dreams erode
But when comes the reaper
The timekeeper knows
Nighttime shadows
Safe from harm
Savior from the rude alarm
Time jumps backward
Time stands still
Reaper moves in for the kill
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12. |
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Disharmony a lovely thing
Something to push back against
To break my fall
You’re so polite, it’s boring me
Save me from this emptiness
Nothing or all
Trading pleasantries makes the mysteries
Feel like empty statements of fact
Half of you, half of me
Bite your tongue and just agree
Go on and disagree
Wipe that smile off my face
Take a few steps off the base
I only care if it’s all or nothing
Intensity a noble thing
Give me everything you’ve got
I’ll ask for more
Fully commit, I challenge you
Do something provocative
An act of war
Making enemies is the destiny
Of anyone emboldened to act
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13. |
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It’s not like you to refuse a kiss when
I just want to shower you with love
You’re no victim
No one’s broken promise
And no ransom can free you from my heart
We never fight like this
How do we get closer?
We never fight like this
How do we get over this?
I’m so sorry
Is that what you’re after?
You insist that I should know
But I don’t know, I swear
Just wild hunches
Half-remembered whispers
These ghosts taunt me
From somewhere out of view
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14. |
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Oblivion descends and I forget my name
An open window snuffing out a candle flame
I awake in the middle of the night
The whistle of a train in the distance
Unfamiliar this world of black and white
The shimmering half light lines the air
Thought you were lying next to me but no one’s there
A wave of wistful sorrow takes me unaware
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15. |
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Your voice is sugar-sweet as the crystal hits the tongue
Glorious mystery in the words that you sung
Accepting each sensation with gratitude and praise
Condensing a life's work to one memorable phrase
Love is all that consciousness is worth
From the very moment of rebirth
Love is all that consciousness is worth
Before the thought attaches to concept in my mind
Dissolve to emptiness leaving nothing behind
I couldn’t shake the feeling I never quite belonged
Stillness said otherwise in the words of a song
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16. |
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We don't use our hearts to do
What we want to do
I know there is no easy
Don't let your happiness away
That day is today
Don't you pray for that?
Stop promising yourself
Life is not like it seems to be
But you'll find what it really means
Building your way
It's the only way
Tomorrow is today
What are you waiting for?
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17. |
Color Theory Huntington Beach, California
Somehow I never outgrew the 80s.
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