Sketches in Grey

by Color Theory

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Sylvia Odhner
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Sylvia Odhner I'm not usually a fan of live tracks, but I love that this album includes them, because for Color Theory they are so rare, and I think they sound unusually good for live tracks. This album is your only chance to hear the live experience. Favorite track: Unrehearsed (live).
Zen Frazier
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Zen Frazier CT's very first album! I bought the CD from Brian personally when I was in high school. A mutual friend said "hey you like Depeche Mode, you'll dig this!" And here we are 20 (!) years later - I'm proud to call myself a Theorist and one of CT's biggest fans. Favorite track: Never Realized.
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1.
Before my world was big enough for two You had my word but my heart was overdue Never found what I had meant to find Looked so hard but darling I was blind All the places we went All the money we spent What were we looking for? Seems like nothing at all All the time on my mind Just to leave you behind What were we hoping for? Maybe nothing at... Although it can be deceiving Fewer things are worth believing Through it all I never realized exactly what I felt for you Couldn't sympathize with another point of view It was right before my eyes Love was there but never realized When it seems that time is standing still I picture you And your music fills my heart without a sound And disappears when I turn around All the dreams I'd been concealing Not to recognize this feeling Through it all I never realized.
2.
Monastery 03:37
And I know what I know from the monastery I don't talk very much so be patient with me I only say what I mean I learned to be a man at the monastery If that gives you the right to be frightened of me Then you don't know who I am I live another life Terminally out of place Vowed to never turn away When I did I saw your face And I go where I go where I want you to be If I hold out my hand will you hold on to me And stop the shivering inside? And I want you to have what I wanted for me They say life comes and goes well it's long gone for me And I don't want to be left behind And I know it's too late to be who I could be But for once in my life I am who I believe Although it makes me cry Torn apart inside By ghosts of comfort and disgrace Vowed to never turn away When I did I saw your face And I know what I know from the monastery I learned to be a man at the monastery If I hold out my hand will you hold out your hand to me? To me?
3.
Once again he slips away Like a shadow in the shade You know I wouldn't even whisper his name If you don't want me to stay Darkness will conceal his shape Like a shadow in the shade You know you wouldn't have to suffer in vain If you don't want me to stay I won't But please tell me It's a lonely direction, not to mention When the demons come for you The dreams you knew will hurt to But I want to console you, not control you You don't have to be someone For me, the past, or anyone If he comes I'll hide away Like a shadow in the shade I wouldn't hesitate to make my escape If you don't want me to stay I'll go But you need me Don't you know that? I could never.
4.
There’s something about this town That takes me in There’s something about this town That makes my head spin Everything’s so incandescent Everything’s so non-adolescent There’s something here That lets me know I’m somebody There’s something about this town That makes me smile There’s something about this town That makes me go another mile Everything’s so convalescent Everything’s so antidepressant There’s something here That lets me know I’m somebody Lost in the drift of the northern wind I never want to leave this place again Because my home was all I was and now I’m all I am There’s something about this town That makes me turn around There’s something about this town That makes me look into myself and see that You need something new to keep from growing old You’re never really living when you’re doing what your told There’s something here That lets me know I’m somebody It’s not that I want to be a victim of sin I just want to let my life begin Because my home was all I was and now I’m all I am.
5.
My heart suffers from the scars of severed nerves Self-inflicted I admit, deserved So you sell your very soul to set me free Yet you suffer all the while with me If I give you my body Surrender my heart and soul Will you show me where love lies? Will I ever let you? Always skeptical of love Of magic’s hand Walk on water and it turns to sand So you have to part the sea to show you care In all fairness I have been unfair Yes I’ll give you my body I’ll give you my heart and soul If you show me what love is Then I’ll never let you go.
6.
Subterranean 04:26
God above is blind to alice cities Breathing underground Where the light of truth makes no shadow Emptiness resounds Nighttime is a cell with painted skylines Soaking to the skin Darkness heals the soul If you let it wash away your sin You never know You never know You never know what you might find Inside your body Outside your mind Don’t be afraid to let me in Subterranean In a blackened room they won’t find us They won’t hear a sound Set your body free Close your eyes I won’t let you down Hidden from the sun You won’t have to ever leave this bed Leave the hollow threats of your preacher Far above our heads Or you’ll never know You’ll never know.
7.
Though I used to think Marriage was a dreamer’s religion My heart is dancing like a string of cans So if you accept And if you can spare me a lifetime We can hold forever in our hands Cause you can’t rely on someone else In a million hours Will the love song fade into silence? Will the tears of rapture dry away? Though I have no doubt That you are my once in a lifeline In between the black and white is grey In some things you don’t have a second chance Once upon a time Vows were spoken never broken People say that never happens Though I know you’re mine Who can say that time won’t change us People say we’ll never be the same There have been some times When the effort shadowed the comfort And I felt like throwing it away But despite those burning eyes And despite the words that we tortured I never had a single lonely day You can’t rely on someone else.
8.
Snowing 03:59
Have you chosen or are you still frozen? Your smile is out of season Still you're all I can believe in If your cold heart can beat in the sun If your winter can ever be won Melt the ice that's between you and me Be the girl you intended to be Where you going? Something fell apart Where you going? Won't you let me be there when it's snowing A blizzard in your heart Where you going? Let me be there when you're snowing I remember the heat beneath December Your shivers may not seem much But you shatter with one touch When you think that it's out of your hands When the world doesn't meet your demands You will find you can let it all go If you learn how to play in the snow Where you going? Don't begin to start Where you going? Don't you know it's lonely where you're going? Emotion can be art Where you going? Won't you let me be there.
9.
Better 05:56
Each time you run away you deprive addiction Where are you hiding? Inside your heart there is a cage I built for you And if there’s room for one There might be room for two But I know you better But I know you better It doesn’t matter Maybe you thought that I Was immune to being intoxicated You leave me lost inside with nothing left to do And in that silence I pray it’s the same for you But I know you better But I know you better It doesn’t matter One word divorces me from belief But nothing gets your attention You say you need me But I need it to be true You say that you’re the one Who knows what’s good for you But I know you better But I know you better It never mattered I know you better.
10.
Before my world was big enough for two You had my word but my heart was overdue Never found what I had meant to find Looked so hard but darling I was blind All the places we went All the money we spent What were we looking for? Seems like nothing at all All the time on my mind Just to leave you behind What were we hoping for? Maybe nothing at... Although it can be deceiving Fewer things are worth believing Through it all I never realized exactly what I felt for you Couldn't sympathize with another point of view It was right before my eyes Love was there but never realized When it seems that time is standing still I picture you And your music fills my heart without a sound And disappears when I turn around All the dreams I'd been concealing Not to recognize this feeling Through it all I never realized.
11.
If you should turn around You'll see me waiting for some kind of sign All of the stupid things my friends say Argue with fear in the back of my mind "What have you got to lose?" "How does it hurt to try?" "What's the worst thing that she can say?" I don't know Maybe I'll wait a day Maybe I've given up long ago I could write you a poem but keep it locked away I could practice for hours words I'll never say If your eyes sent a message like a telegram I would still doubt my senses That's just who I am Baby that's just who I am I guess I'm hoping that Out of the blue or on Valentine's Day You will walk right up and take my hand Say I am yours and then drag me away What have you got to lose? Maybe I'm worth a try Don't we all have our weaknesses? I know mine Maybe they fit with yours Maybe yours fit with mine, valentine You'll never know what I can do Unless you take a step or two If you believe in true romance Then there's a sweepstakes chance That I'm the one for you The only one for you Well maybe that's exactly who I am.
12.
Overtime Home by nine Watch TV to loosen up my mind Pay the bills Earn a wage Just enough to keep it all the same Somehow life slips away Good or bad it's just another day On my own in this world Safe and sound But I don't want to stare out the window I don't want to stare all of my life Don't want to be afraid to remember What I might have dared What could be mine I don't want to stare out the window I don't want to stare all of my life All of my life... Back in my rebel phase I stood out in all the normal ways Held a dying man's faith That my art would be my resume But that man passed away Right or wrong it's not for me to say Here at home in my room Safe and sound Cause I feel like there is Someone watching over me And that something is Supposed to happen now If it's all by design Keep on watching I won't let you down.
13.
Once again he slips away Like a shadow in the shade You know I wouldn't even whisper his name If you don't want me to stay Darkness will conceal his shape Like a shadow in the shade You know you wouldn't have to suffer in vain If you don't want me to stay I won't But please tell me It's a lonely direction, not to mention When the demons come for you The dreams you knew will hurt to But I want to console you, not control you You don't have to be someone For me, the past, or anyone If he comes I'll hide away Like a shadow in the shade I wouldn't hesitate to make my escape If you don't want me to stay I'll go But you need me Don't you know that? I could never.
14.
I caught you smiling like a fool Lost in a dream Glowing like candles on a birthday cake Finally eighteen Like I was seven years ago Flirting with sin Little girl dreams they seemed so silly then Now I want in (In)to your understanding simple Sweet and pure and demanding that I Give my heart like a doll to you Hold it tight enough to break it I don't care what they say or do It's enough to know we waited I don't possess a pain that you Couldn't relieve And though I never said the words before Better believe That I need you to give love to Me and I to you, here and now I Give my heart like a doll to you Hold it tight enough to break it I don't care what they say or do It's enough to know we waited I'll never forget what you said that day, "Lovers are all fools anyway", and now I Give my heart like a doll to you And smile to think it true.
15.
Have you chosen or are you still frozen? Your smile is out of season Still you're all I can believe in If your cold heart can beat in the sun If your winter can ever be won Melt the ice that's between you and me Be the girl you intended to be Where you going? Something fell apart Where you going? Won't you let me be there when it's snowing A blizzard in your heart Where you going? Let me be there when you're snowing I remember the heat beneath December Your shivers may not seem much But you shatter with one touch When you think that it's out of your hands When the world doesn't meet your demands You will find you can let it all go If you learn how to play in the snow Where you going? Don't begin to start Where you going? Don't you know it's lonely where you're going? Emotion can be art Where you going? Won't you let me be there.
16.
Maybe I'm glad to be back on my own After four nights of happiness taken on loan Filled with photos and cars, shameless cliches Lovesongs and daisies and sleeping by day I'll test my heart again in my own time Still I cling to the images fresh in my mind How you painted my heart, colored my day And now I'm left with just sketches in grey Why do you pull your hand away when I reach for you? Seems you can't remember That's not all you let me do Why are you smiling to yourself? Don't pretend you made me fall in love You tell me it isn't fair to pretend, Then you actually say you just want to be friends But you didn't pretend on that first night You couldn't stop shaking and I heard you cry I understand You love love better When it's unrehearsed It gets a little old Can't go on pretending That's why you pull your hand away when I reach for you Seems you can't remember That's not all you let me do Why are you lying to yourself? Don't pretend you made me fall in love Cause it's the truth.

about

My debut album sold out quickly, thanks in large part to the students at Fountain Valley High School, where I was working as an accompanist. A few years later, I released a remastered version, adding three remixes and four live recordings.

credits

released May 1, 1994

Color Theory is Brian Hazard

All songs written, performed, and produced
by Brian Hazard (ASCAP) © 1994-1999 except:

Bass on Monastery and Something Here by Todd Sanders
Guitar on Monastery by Scott Fitzpatrick
Just Who I Am remixed by Keith Gillard of Fidgital www.fidgital.com

Tracks 13-16 recorded live at Diedrich University Center, Irvine, California, on November 20, 1998

Art direction and graphic design by Design Café
Mastered by Resonance Mastering www.resonancemastering.com

Special thanks to Denisse Dibos for letting me record on her Steinway

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Color Theory Huntington Beach, California

Somehow I never outgrew the 80s.

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