Tuesday Song

by Color Theory

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about

My sophomore release, Tuesday Song ends with the song I wrote as a marriage proposal to my wife Michelle. A Different Drum introduced Color Theory to the small but dedicated modern synthpop scene by including “Heart Like a Doll” on its first release, Rise! America’s Synthpop Underground. Digital version remastered 11/1/11.

credits

released 01 June 1997

Color Theory is Brian Hazard

All songs written, performed, and produced
by Brian Hazard (ASCAP) ©1997 except:

Backing vocals on My Gift to You by The Fountain Valley Troubadours
Bass on Unrehearsed by Todd Sanders
Answering machine on September Spoke in Red courtesy of Ron Shelton

Mastered by Resonance Mastering www.resonancemastering.com

Special thanks the quality control team: Sheri Hogan, Dave Harper, John Kopko, Will Phelps, Mark Nicholas, Michelle Reyes, Lori Hazard, Bill Boocock, Todd Durrant

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about

Color Theory Huntington Beach, California

80's synthpop is in my blood, but I mostly listen to EDM these days. My songs draw from both, fleshed out with piano accompaniment. Anyone who took music lessons as a kid calls themselves "classically trained," but I stuck with it, earning a Bachelor of Music degree in Piano Performance. After graduation, I left Beethoven and Brahms behind to pursue my first musical inspiration, Depeche Mode. ... more

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Track Name: Outside Girl
I never thought that I'd see you again
Not after the things that we said back then
I needed you like a wish needs a star
But none of that matters now
Here you are

You say that I really was good for you
That no one else really rings true for you
I tell you it just wasn't meant to be
You capture my hand and say
"Why can't we make believe?
Start again, everything new"
But I won't see it through

It could take a week to remember
Why it never worked for us before
We all stay the same on the inside
Though I wish the outside girl was mine
Let's not waste our time

A part of me wants to make love right now
To forget all these things that I said somehow
But my mind and my body don't separate
I could donate my heart but it wouldn't take
My mistake
Lust fulfilled can't create love
It's just not pure enough

You were once the spirit in my soul
Now you're just a ghost from long ago
But I've grown up
I don't believe in ghosts
I can't see you.
Track Name: September Spoke in Red
I saw her in the evening
September spoke in red
The light was so deceiving
I must have lost my head
She turned around
A teardrop in her eye
Her trembling lip
As crimson as the sky tonight

But oh how my heart bled
Awake all night in bed
In her arms I prayed
The sun would be delayed
And back when I was dead
If someone would have said
That I could feel so free
I wouldn't have believed it

Her kiss was so romantic
Shapeless in the dark
I didn't take advantage
Of any stray remark
I left her there
Not even a goodbye
Who's crying now
Under the glowing autumn sky tonight

Believe it.
Track Name: Just Who I Am
If you should turn around
You'll see me waiting for some kind of sign
All of the stupid things my friends say
Argue with fear in the back of my mind
"What have you got to lose?"
"How does it hurt to try?"
"What's the worst thing that she can say?"
I don't know
Maybe I'll wait a day
Maybe I've given up long ago

I could write you a poem but keep it locked away
I could practice for hours words I'll never say
If your eyes sent a message like a telegram
I would still doubt my senses
That's just who I am
Baby that's just who I am

I guess I'm hoping that
Out of the blue or on Valentine's Day
You will walk right up and take my hand
Say I am yours and then drag me away
What have you got to lose?
Maybe I'm worth a try
Don't we all have our weaknesses?
I know mine
Maybe they fit with yours
Maybe yours fit with mine, valentine

You'll never know what I can do
Unless you take a step or two
If you believe in true romance
Then there's a sweepstakes chance
That I'm the one for you
The only one for you
Well maybe that's exactly who I am.
Track Name: Heart Like a Doll
I caught you smiling like a fool
Lost in a dream
Glowing like candles on a birthday cake
Finally eighteen
Like I was seven years ago
Flirting with sin
Little girl dreams they seemed so silly then
Now I want in
(In)to your understanding simple
Sweet and pure and demanding that I

Give my heart like a doll to you
Hold it tight enough to break it
I don't care what they say or do
It's enough to know we waited

I don't possess a pain that you
Couldn't relieve
And though I never said the words before
Better believe
That I need you to give love to
Me and I to you, here and now I

Give my heart like a doll to you
Hold it tight enough to break it
I don't care what they say or do
It's enough to know we waited

I'll never forget what you said that day,
"Lovers are all fools anyway", and now I
Give my heart like a doll to you
And smile to think it true.
Track Name: Entirely
If we spent a week alone in Paris
Would we fall in love?
If we could recite the vows of marriage
Would we fall in love?
Remember how you started on a painting
Of us sitting on the moon?
Here from Earth it's hard to see
My tiny figure sitting next to you

I'm not ready to be a father
Yes I know that the baby's yours and mine
But I'm not staying one way or other
It's your choice entirely

If we bought a Christmas tree together
Would we fall in love?
If we wrote down all we had in common
Would we fall in love?
If my lips could say the words "I love you"
Wouldn't they come true?
Then I'd close my eyes and see that
I will never fall in love with you

I feel like running away is all I can do
No matter what happens to you
I'll never know
But I know it's not fair to you
And I never was fair to you

We weren't ready to become lovers
Thought I saw love beneath a glass of wine
But finding love in a son or daughter is
Something else entirely.
Track Name: Forget His Voice
It's stay-up sleepy time again
Am I supposed to trust in you?
And as the clock strikes 2 a.m I toss and turn with what to
Do or to say when you come home
Or if it really matters
So what if your hair smells like cologne?
We know you've done it all before

I saw your careful thoughts collide
The day you told me everything
Beneath the guilt you wore a pride
In what you felt was honesty
But you weren't counting the lies
Three months of silence had to bring
I can forgive
Don't look surprised
I only ask one little thing

Forget his mouth
Forget his eyes
Forget a thousand little lies
Forget you ever had a choice
Forget his name
Forget his voice

I never claimed that I was perfect
I suppose it was implied
So were you driven to his arms
By my imperfect sense of pride?
Or perhaps something you read
Or the way I made love to you desperately, desolately
I guess that you were desperate too

I always loved the things in you that I could never be
But there must be a side of you I wasn't meant to see
Show me
Though my heart should be barren
Still my love for you grows
Like the weeds that destroy the flowers.
Track Name: Unrehearsed
Maybe I'm glad to be back on my own
After four nights of happiness taken on loan
Filled with photos and cars, shameless cliches
Lovesongs and daisies and sleeping by day

I'll test my heart again in my own time
Still I cling to the images fresh in my mind
How you painted my heart, colored my day
And now I'm left with just sketches in grey

Why do you pull your hand away when I reach for you?
Seems you can't remember
That's not all you let me do
Why are you smiling to yourself?
Don't pretend you made me fall in love

You tell me it isn't fair to pretend,
Then you actually say you just want to be friends
But you didn't pretend on that first night
You couldn't stop shaking and I heard you cry

I understand
You love love better
When it's unrehearsed
It gets a little old
Can't go on pretending

That's why you pull your hand away when I reach for you
Seems you can't remember
That's not all you let me do
Why are you lying to yourself?
Don't pretend you made me fall in love
Cause it's the truth.
Track Name: My Gift to You
Uncle flew in today
Grandma is on her way
A stocking stuffed
For each of us
Dizzy from the falling snow
Shying from the mistletoe

Gathered around the tree
Singing of Christmas dreams
That end in rhyme
Dreams far from mine
It never snows here in L.A.
And our family’s not that way
Still I hold a hope inside me
That brings me here today

This is my gift to you
Open it Christmas Day
Maybe my only chance to say
Something I never had the strength to say
This is my gift to you

Father I have one wish
No endless Christmas list
No fairy tales
No verbal veils
To hide behind on Christmas Day
Certain words are hard to say
Still I have the chance
To open my heart another way

I can open my heart another way.
Track Name: Softer Than Sleep
Sometimes I seem to fill up my heart
With words my lips will not surrender
If I should ever seem to forget
I want you to know that I remember
When you drove me home from work at midnight
Kissing me at every stoplight
Like when we were new
Like true love is true

And you touch me softer than sleep
I can feel it ringing inside of me
And it colors all that I do
With a touch of you

I used to think that love was a lie
But God I wished that there was someone
While other stars fell out of the sky
You were always there on the horizon
When I heard you singing in the shower
Butchering the song I wrote you
All at once I knew
How my wish came true

I lay awake sometimes
Ready to burst inside
Killing the dead of night
Hoping to find another strand of hair you left behind and
When we shared a pillow on the terrace
Counting all the lights in Vegas
Time was torn in two
Like a deja vu

With a touch of you
Just a touch of you
Not enough of you
Track Name: The Perfect Song
As I woke up today I heard the perfect song
I tried to write it down but I knew all along
There were no real notes or lyrics in my dream
Only the echo of a universal theme
What does it mean?

Somehow I know the perfect song is about love
What else is closer to perfection in this life?
Not like a Friday party Sunday sing-a-long
More like an early bedtime lonesome Tuesday song

Just the other day I was addicted to the ordinary
Just the other day all my emotion was imaginary
Just the other day
Then the perfect song washed through me
Filled my heart with tragic beauty
Now I hear the perfect song in everything

Sometimes a hint of music plays inside my head
I think I know just what it is but then instead
I realize it's not a song I've ever known
But it's a perfect start to what will be my own
Perfect alone

But the perfection loses focus as I write
And my most passionate reflections come off trite
Even a melody that makes me swoon and sway
Lingers a moment then the feeling fades away

I love you more than I can ever express
In anything but the perfect song
That's why it breaks my heart to tell it to you
In anything but the perfect song
Anything, anything, anything
I would do anything
For you.